Thing-a-Day Jan 23 #9 - [not the] Strangest Dream

Yep, I'm calling an audible today. Believe me, I have no end of work shit I could rant about, and I have five Mondays this month to air some of that. So today, let me tell you about the strange dream I had last night.

For anyone whose known me for a long time, you'll know that I started writing a story called The Blue Door back in my late teen-aged years. I have a feeling this dream might be connected to it somehow.

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It's a warm, overcast summer's night in Whatevertown, USA [oddly, not a Fallon dream], and I'm part of the renovation crew hired to update the local Michael's Craft Store. We were already on our second week by this point. The building this particular store was in was technically a duplex -- it shared its north wall with the south wall of something like a Macy's.

On my crew, there were thirteen of us. Most were labor contractors, two were inventory specialists, and I was the tech guy. The labor team had three shelving units left to tear down before we could get the demo crew in to knock down the north wall.

While I was in the office backing up all the systems and making sure all the tech didn't burn itself down, I was keeping an eye on the security cameras to make sure the labor team was on-track and to report any accidents to the night-shift foreman [offsite]. One of my friends stopped by to chat for a few minutes and to drop off a thermos of coffee for me. Our conversation was inconsequential.

Just after my friend left, I heard something like a whip crack and immediately started running toward where the labor crew was working. By this point, it was everyone's lunch break, so nobody else was in the building with me [no, they were all at the Denny's across the lot]. Once I reached the north wall, I discovered that one of the remaining shelving units had toppled over, revealing what looked to be a gated brick archway and subsequent long hallway... all made of stone that was titanium white. I ran back to the office, grabbed my thermos of coffee, and ran back to the archway. I un-capped the thermos, stuck a silicone straw in, and pushed open the wrought-iron gate. It swung open with such ease that it could have been freshly greased. I strolled through the gate and under the mysterious archway.

The hall behind the archway stretched for a couple hundred feet then made a sharp turn to the right, so I followed it around. When I reached the bend, the sight before my eyes was of an immense shopping mall made of the same pure white material. There were no lights above, none of the shops had anything in them, and nobody else was in here. I walked down the main thoroughfare just to find another exit. I must have walked for a mile or so before I ran out of coffee. Thankfully, there was a small coffee kiosk just ahead. I stopped, refilled my thermos with hot, fresh coffee [if nobody was in here, where the shit did this coffee come from?!] and continued on in this pure white void of walls.

After an absolutely inordinate amount of time walking, I finally reached a long stretch that came to another gated archway! Just on the other side of these wrought-iron gates looked to be a fancy, wooden double door! The door was unlocked, so I pushed it open and revealed to myself a beautiful lounge that followed a curved set of windows. Think of the outer ring of Star Trek's DS-9. Oddly, this place was occupied, fully staffed with bartenders, and had the most pleasant scent of oak. Walking into this place, I had a sense of calm serenity wash over me as I made my way to one of the many bars and ordered myself a top-shelf scotch.

Just to the right of this particular bar was a door made of plushed red leather -- the kind with the crisscross pattern made of creases between tacks. Above this door was a sign that read "Michael's" in the same font as the store we're all familiar with. Pouring my scotch into my coffee [fuckit, I'd been gone for hours at this point], I stood, walked to that door, and pushed it open to reveal a staircase leading up. The walls of this stairwell were lined with dark wood on the lower half and red, velvety wallpaper on the top half. This stretched all the way up the staircase to another door that looked exactly like the one at the bottom. Still no lights above... how was I able to see shit?

Through the door at the top was a 50ftx30ft courtyard! Beautiful sunny sky; hedges and trees punctuated lovely iron benches. To my immediate left was another door! It, too, had the "Michael's" sign! Fuckit, might as well. I pushed the door open and revealed a dark room with purple velvet walls and ceiling, long-pile purple shag carpet, and a darkness that folded into itself out of sight. Another door was right across from me, still visible in the light that was streaming in from outside.

On the other side of this second door was a room very similar to the first, but there were a few noticeable differences. Firstly, the walls, floor, and ceiling were all covered with GelDew[tm] EZ-Kleen Liners. Secondly, there was an Iron Maiden just at the edge of the darkness, and it was barely open with a dark fluid coming out of the bottom. Of course it was blood, but the room was too damned dark to tell. One more door ahead in the growing darkness. I strolled forward, sipped my coffee, and threw open this final door...

Light blinded me as it streamed in through an exposed window on the other side. Dark green carpet, matching silk-lined walls, and a matching draped canopy ceiling. A massive bed sat to my right, and there was a male of giant size laying in it with an equally massive sword stuck through his chest. Multiple females of giant size stood around him, making small cuts with curved blades. One of these women, dressed in black silk robes, wielded a sword-sized kris blade. She turned to me and started speaking, "On this day, in this chamber, we have murdered ..."

And that's when I woke up, drenched in sweat!

I really appreciate my mind for giving me such a wonderful bit of inspiration, but dammit, why did it have to cut off right there?!

Anyway, thanks for reading!