Thing-a-Day Jan 23 #4 - Writer's Wednesday

Welcome to Writer's Wednesday. In these entries, I generate a writing prompt from Seventh Sanctum, quickly write a short story based on that prompt, and post it without critique or going back for revisions [other than to correct SPaG]. These will likely feel rushed and a little cheesy, but... whatever!

GENERATED PROMPT:

I've got my evil statues - now I'm ready.

And here we go:

"I've got my evil statues," he said to himself in the mirror while adjusting his red, silken tie. "Now I'm ready." Jim smoothed out his tie and put his glasses on. They were fake glasses that only looked like prescription glasses, but they boosted his confidence. Today, however, the usual boost he received from the glasses paled in comparison as he turned to look at his newest acquisition -- two large, marble statues which very closely resembled the Antikythera Youth, but he had them dressed in blue Easter Bunny costumes. Jim grinned maniacally as he attempted to predict how Ricky will react when he witnesses these two utter monstrosities!

See, Ricky was a pizza delivery driver who became rather notorious for being fifteen minutes late, letting the pizza cool down outside of the insulated bag, and for having absolutely horrid customer service. Lately, his deliveries to Jim haven't been late or cold, and Ricky has been perfectly cordial. Jim was initially relieved that Ricky had been set straight, but when it became the norm, Jim knew something was amiss. He kept running it back in his mind, "What is Ricky's problem? Why is he treating me this way while continuing to be a dick to everyone else? Doesn't he know I'm not special?"

Jim pushed the thoughts out of his mind as he wheeled the statues into place, standing side-by-side fifteen feet inside from the front door to his modestly luxurious home and turned to look like they're reaching for the front door. After fluffing the cotton-poof tails on the statues' costumes, Jim walked to the dining room, picked up his cell phone, and called the pizza joint where Ricky works. Bingo, he thought, I've got him now! Jim ordered one medium cheese pizza - nothing special - and a two-liter soda. Mikey, the guy on the phone, told Jim that his driver might be running a bit late and apologized in advance. "Hey, no worries! I'm actually just on my way back home now!" Jim was always a terrible liar. As soon as he hung up the phone, we went to the plush chair just inside the door and waited. Fifteen minutes passed... then thirty... then one hour. He wondered aloud, "Where the hell's my pizza?!"

A voice rang out clearly as if spoken into his ear, "Duuuude, here's yer pizza, bro! That'll be, uh..."

Panicked, Jim jumped up and threw the door open! Nothing. A light wind teased at his silken red tie and pulled it up over his left shoulder. A granite hand with a pink, fluffy sleeve grasped the end of the tie and yanked, causing Jim to spin and fall onto his back! Jim looked, the statues were exactly where he'd placed them... but there was one more. Standing front and center between them was a third statue, exactly as the others, but between the fluffy bunny ears was baseball cap with the name Ricky embroidered across a slice of pepperoni pizza, and in its outreached hand was a golden pizza box that teetered precariously.

Before Jim could react, the golden pizza box fell and bounced off his head with a hollow 'thk'. Foam?! Jim thought as he rolled toward the golden pizza box. He opened the box and looked inside to find a simple note that read the following:

Dude... you gotta stop being so uptight! It's just pizza, bro!